Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Well the chicken didn't cross the road, I can tell you that.

It was pointed out to me by my best bud Nora, that I am strange. Not only am I strange, but I attract strange things to me.

Case in point- Instead of getting a flat tire, my tire falls off while I'm driving down the highway.

I haven't blogged in awhile, so I figured why not tell everyone out there how strange I am.

The other day I was driving to get my daughter from school. We live in an extremely remote area that is full of farms and winding back roads. On this winding, aka cow poop smelling road, I come out of a blind curve and meet Mr. Chicken.

Mr. Chicken was trying to cross the road. The truck on my arse made it impossible for me to slam on the breaks and you can't swerve on these tiny roads, so I hit the chicken. The chicken saw my blue car and tried to fly, hop, jump... something, to get out of the way. I ended up clipping the bird right about where my license plate is.
The chicken rolled up my hood, smacked into the winsheild, then rolled across the winsheild and into my window.

Yep, that's right. I'm driving with an almost dead chicken in my lap at this point. There are feathers everywhere; covering my window, in my car, in my hair... ugg. I'm screaming, cussing and in general flipping out. I take the stupid thing by the wing and throw him/her out the window.
I finish driving to Kate's school and stop at the gas station right off the road. While parked at the pump to clean the window I can see directly into the truck that followed me's window. The guy is laughing, he is hysterically laughing, clutching his chest and red faced.
I tell my hubby about it and he says, "I would pay anything to have been behind you, that is some funny shit babe."


Did I mention my kids are weird too? That's a story for another day though.


Anonymous said...

Eeeeeek! I think i would have definitely lost control of the car and gone hysterically and probably end up crashing my self!

Imagine being killed by a dead chicken....not funny!

I really don't like chicken feet.

I also feel really sorry for the poor, poor chicken!

Laura said...

I cant even come up with a comment but that post was worthy of one.
hmmm .....

There has to be a why did the chicken cross the road joke in there somewhere.....

Maggie said...

I followed your link here from your Twitter page, and I'm really sorry, but this is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! I cannot stop laughing. I'm glad you're okay. Really, very glad indeed. funny!

lesliecooper said...

I am at a loss for words... and that doesn't happen often.

That will be a story that will come back to you... "My friend knows this girl who ran into a chicken and it landed on her lap!" And you will be like, "That was me! I'm that girl!"


Jenny said...

I swear, you just made my morning. That is SO FUNNY. And horrifying.